Cast Biographies 3

Favorite TV Show/ south park

On this page I'll include biographical information about the cast of my favorite TV show.

Catch Phrase 1: Dude!
Catch Phrase 2: Aw, crap!
DOB: October 19

He is the cute kid and leader of the pack. He is the South Park Cows' star quarterback. He has a crush on a girl named Wendy Testaburger, but he throws up every time she talks to him. He gets beat up by his sister Shelley, and is under pressure from Grampa to kill him. Since the first show he has managed to talk to Wendy without throwing up, but now throws up on her when things get intimate between them. Usually has a level head, but a visit to the hospital reveals that he has a weak stomach. He was the team captain for the South Park Cows dodgeball team, and got in trouble for delivering an embellished report on Vietnam. He also kept cool, and kept everyone else relatively calm under rather dangerous conditions when the bus was teetering on the edge of a cliff. He plays the violin. During the First Annual South Park Film Festival he and Wendy went to see several movies together, and his stomach got weak again. He threw up on the man in front of Wendy twice, the second time when the two cowboys onscreen began to explore their sexuality. He insisted there was no problem, though. Gets chicken pox from Shelley after visiting her at the hospital (she got it first), and then helps Kyle and Cartman get back at all the parents for their plan to get thsm sick from chicken pox. He and Kyle escape Dr. Adams and his neuroneutralizer after trying it out on Kenny and observing the results. He and Kyle built a clubhouse so they could play Truth or Dare with Wendy and Bebe. He got in trouble for reading a note from Bebe to Kyle, in which she wrote things that sound awfully silly coming from a guy's mouth, and he is sent to Mr. Mackey, who charged him with "skylarkings." He later explains to Kyle why he didn't get to the clubhouse until late in the afternoon. Then he went to Chef for help on how to play Truth or Dare. He lost his father for a time due to divorce, and got a stepfather named Roy. Stan never got a chance to finish his dare with Wendy, since Roy had him cut some firewood. Stan is not at all happy with this arrangement, so he sets up a trap to get rid of Roy while reuniting his parents in his clubhouse. Later, when Wendy and Bebe return for more Truth or Dare, Bebe asks him to shove a stick up his peehole. During Cow Days he and Kyle had Cartman practice on a mechanical bull, and then a real one. When Cartman was in the hospital for head trauma, he determined that Cartman was still well enough to ride a bull, and so pulled him out of the hospital and into the bullring. He and the other boys raised $95 towards the $2 million Chef needed to pay a record company or Johnny Cochran. He gave Elton John some lyrics to make a song from, and Elton sang "Wake Up, Wendy" for him at Chef Aid. He got a pet fish from Aunt Flo, but it turned out to be an evil fish from a parallel universe. It killed at least five people, and Stan gave it back to Aunt Flo. It killed her, too. Stan got to see his evil parallel. Stan runs away from home in order to spend the holidays with Cartman is his grandma's house in Nebraska. He meets Kyle and Kenny at Cartman's house and they all go with Liane. He later wants to run away with Charlie Manson and Cartman's Uncle Howard, but Charlie has him reconsider. Stan gets to see the gnomes Tweek was so adamant about. He and his group present an oral report on the evils of big corporations, only to change their point of view after meeting the underpants gnomes. While rescuing Kyle he found a frozen body in a cave and called it Gorak. He and the other boys hauled it back to town, where Mephesto took it and thawed it out. He and Kyle fight over the name for the ice man. He is afraid of snakes, and didn't want to go on a tour to save the rainforest, since rainforests suck. He gets to meet Costa Rica's people's army, the Yanogapa, and some American loggers. Stan gets to be the narrator for the Stations of the Cross. After, he helps Kyle take Cartman to a hill and leave him there on the cross. He's helping Kyle get a nurection for his dad, but he gets to watch his father earn fame and shame for coming up with the unified break-wind theory of spontaneous combustion, then fame again for the unified theory of moderation. He calls Jesus on Jesus and Pals to find out how long it took for Him to die and rise again. When Cartman comes to school with dilated pupils, he, Cartman, and Kenny laugh at him. He and the others see a different chef behind the counter and set out to find why Chef quit. He and the others find out that Chef has a new girlfriend and a new job in accounting, and this horrifies him. He talks to Mr. Garrison about this, and learns that Chef is dealing with a succubus. He meets Chef's parents, and has to sit and hear their stories of the Loch Ness monster who always wants tree fitty. He and the other boys crash the wedding rehearsal dinner to finally tell Chef just whom it is he is marrying, and he throws them out of the restaurant. Finally, he and the others learn the succubus' favorite song and sing it backwards to destroy the succubus' power over Chef. When Chef returns to work at the cafeteria kitchen, he and the other boys are overjoyed. One week, the boys are sent to shop class and the girls are sent to home ec class. The shop teacher, Mr. Adler, asks the boys who's the troublemaker in class. Stan offers Tweek, Cartman offers Craig. This leads to a fight between Tweek and Craig. Stan and Kyle train Tweek to box after they find that Tweek doesn't know how to fight, then set up another fight. The second fight is called when Tweek and Craig tumble into shop class and accidentally kill Kenny. When Craig and Tweek are hospitalized after the fight, Stan, Kyle, and Cartman visit them and start another fight between them. When jakovasaurs appear in town, Stan and Kyle are wary of them, and then just sick of them. They assist the Mayor in getting rid of them. When a rash of sexual harassment lawsuits hits town, Stan loses half his stuff to Cartman, including an asthma inhaler. He, Kyle, and Cartman search for and find the Sexual Harassment Panda and convince him to help stop the sexual harassment lawsuits. During the meteor shower Stan has to spend the night with his parents at Mr. Mackey's party while his sister babysits Cartman. Stan finds three boys in the special kids' room (basement) and refuses to play with them, since they are Melvins. Boredom forces his hand, and he plays Bosley to their Angels. They find a way upstairs and watch TV. A news report alerts Stan to activity outside, and he gets the Angels to participate in a real mission: to tell the ATF outside that there's nothing cultish going on. The mission is successful, and the ATF leaves. Stan sees Kyle, and, ignoring the Melvins, they go inside to trade stories. When the Chinpokomon craze hits South Park, Stan keeps up with it, buying the toys and video game, then goes to Chinpokomon camp. There, he learn Japanese. He marches through the town with the other kids. He's about to go to Pearl Harbor to bomb it for the Japanese when the adults show up with their own toys. This snaps him out of the craze. There's much more to say, but this is enough for now.

Catch Phrase 1: Kick the baby!
Catch Phrase 2: You Bastard!
DOB: May 26

He is the smart kid. He's Jewish, he likes to make fun of Cartman being fat, and he has a football-shaped baby brother named Ike who he likes to kick. Has a pet elephant, and low tolerance for idiocy. His Jewishness keeps him from celebrating Christmas with his friends. He defended Ike from the possibility of circumcision, then forsook him after finding out he is Canadian. He didn't like the idea of anyone having a circumcision, since he thought it meant castration. Once he knew what it really is, he warmed to the idea, though he did faint when Ike got it. Got a bloody nose for badgering Pip about being French, and plotted against Uncle Jimbo for getting them in trouble with flowery stories about Vietnam. He plays the violin. Mr. Hankey came to him again to have him alert the town of what they were doing to the sewer - and Mr. Hankey's home. Kyle cried when Mr. Hankey passed out on him the first time, and Stan offered to hold and comfort him. Kyle then fell when Wendy asked Stan to see another film with her, and Stan let him go. He is the most resistant to chicken pox, but finally succumbs. He ended up being the only student not to get chicken pox, for a while, and drew comfort in knowing that though he was the only student in class, everyone was to get homework, sick or not. He and Stan escape Dr. Adams and his neuroneutralizer after trying it out on Kenny and observing the results. He and Stan built a clubhouse so they could play Truth or Dare with Wendy and Bebe. Wendy dared him to kiss Bebe on the lips, which he does, but immediately he ran out of the clubhouse in disgust. He becomes a reluctant partner to Bebe, only to hear her say that she wants some time apart. He doesn't care. When the carnival came to town for Cow Days, he attacked Cartman because Cartman had squandered their money. He made Cartman ride a bull in order to win $5000 and guarantee that they would win Terrance and Phillip dolls. Kyle figured out that the games were fixed, and so called Shenanigans on the carnival people twice. He and the other boys raised $95 towards the $2 million Chef needed to pay a record company or Johnny Cochran. Kyle got to see his evil parallel. Kyle joins the boys to Cartman's Grandma's house, but learns that Mr. Hankey will be appearing at the Mall of Nebraska, so he presses Cartman to ask Uncle Stinky to take the boys to the mall. The boys find another way there, and Kyle quickly realizes that the mall Hankey is way too big to be the real one, so Kyle exposes him. A riot follows, and Kyle is angry that people are willing to impersonate Mr. Hankey, and is sure Mr. Hankey would feel the same way. During meals he has to hold Great-Grandma's catheter bag, and is grossed out by the urine that has to go in it. He gets to see the gnomes Tweek was so adamant about. He and his group present an oral report on the evils of big corporations, only to change their point of view after meeting the underpants gnomes. He tumbled down into a cave. While Stan rescued him, he saw a frozen body in a cave and called it Steve. He and the other boys hauled it back to town, where Mephesto took it and thawed it out. He and Stan fight over the name for the ice man. Though he can sing, he doesn't have any rhythm; he can't dance. He gets mad at Cartman for pointing that out, but Stan gives him the benefit of the doubt. He's surprised that Kelly brought Kenny back to life with CPR. He gets to meet Costa Rica's people's army, the Yanogapa, and some American loggers. His father is having a hard time getting an erection, so when Kyle learns of the Stations of the Cross and Jesus' resurrection, he assumes that if he and Kyle perform the Stations he could get an urection and pass it to his dad. With Cartman as Jesus, he was counting on getting the urection on the Sunday after Good Friday, but Cartman didn't die. His father came up with his own solution, so Kyle forgot about the urection. When Cartman comes to school with dilated pupils, he, Cartman, and Kenny laugh at him. He and the others see a different chef behind the counter and set out to find why Chef quit. He and the others find out that Chef has a new girlfriend and a new job in accounting, and this horrifies him. He talks to Mr. Garrison about this, and learns that Chef is dealing with a succubus. He meets Chef's parents, and has to sit and hear their stories of the Loch Ness monster who always wants tree fitty. He and the other boys crash the wedding rehearsal dinner to finally tell Chef just whom it is he is marrying, and he throws them out of the restaurant. Finally, he and the others learn the succubus' favorite song and sing it backwards to destroy the succubus' power over Chef. When Chef returns to work at the cafeteria kitchen, he and the other boys are overjoyed. One week, he and the other boys go to shop class instead of regular class. During class he and Stan try to get Tweek and Craig to fight afterschool, but neither boy knows how to fight, so he and Stan take him to Big Gym to learn to box from Jimbo. The day of the next fight comes, but it is called due to tumbling into the shop class and killing Kenny. Tweek and Craig are hospitalized, and the boys stop by to offer sympathy… and start another fight between Craig and Tweek. When jakovasaurs appear in town, he and Stan are wary of them, and then just sick of them. They assist the Mayor in getting rid of them. When a rash of sexual harassment lawsuits hits town, Kyle moves from house to house, each one bigger than the last, each time his father wins a sexual harassment lawsuit against the schools. He's not happy about it, so he, Stan, and Cartman search for and find the Sexual Harassment Panda and convince him to help stop the sexual harassment lawsuits. During the meteor shower, he goes to Jewbilee with Kenny and Ike. Ike goes to Squirts while Kyle and Kenny go to Scouts. Kyle has to introduce Kenny as a Jew, so he offers McHeinenberg as Kenny's last name. He stands by Kenny when Moses appears and discerns that Kenny is not kosher. He becomes a hostage when Haman herds everybody into a cabin and locks them in. He and the others are set free by the Squirts. He sees Kenny hit a conch shell with his head and die as the shell splits open and sets Moses free. He is brought to the meteor shower party after the meteor shower and tells Stan everything he went through. When the Chinpokomon craze hits South Park, Kyle is totally out of the loop. At first, he doesn't understand what all the fuss is about, but seeing that his friends are into it makes him want to keep up. He buys the toys and the game controller, but does so just as they go out of style. He jumps at the chance to go to Chinpokomon camp with the other boys. There, he learn Japanese. He marches through the town with the other kids. He's about to go to Pearl Harbor to bomb it for the Japanese when the adults show up with their own toys. He doesn't realize that the craze is over, so he's about to take off. Stan stops him just in time.